365, Day 97: Wrestling with the Angel

365, Day 97

This is me, wrestling with the Angel of the Lord. Well, in a manner of speaking. This was, I think, the third attempt at a painting today? I have a rule, remember, that the painting must be completed in under an hour. That does not mean that I limit myself to one attempt. It just means that the painting must be completed in under an hour. Today, it was a struggle. This was the final piece and part of me wants to say, look, I have a few minutes left on the clock, why don’t we go for another attempt…?

The Executive Committee rejected that request. As dissatisfied as I feel with today’s offering, it will remain today’s offering.

Today I began what I hope will be my final year as an undergraduate. As the semester continues, I expect to become more and more consumed by my studies. I expect to be faced with open rebellion by the academically focused part of myself as I attempt to live a more balanced life. What, you want to dance and have friends and love? A real life? What is this crazy talk?

How can I find a way to live that does not mean doing violence to myself? This is a question that I have wrestled with more particularly since doing a presentation on a year of transformational education this summer. If I wish to live a less violent life in a less violent world, it requires that I learn to be less violent towards myself. This is off the edge of my map…

Does everybody wrestle with the creative process or is it just me?

(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)

About Karen

I am a fifty-something anthropology student, an artist, dancer, photographer, healer, mother, grandmother and perennial seeker. I am distracted by shiny things and infused with a sense of wonder at the world around me and people in general. I am a “journey” person who often wishes that I could have a “destination” day at least every now and then…
This entry was posted in Color, Creativity, Landscapes, Violence and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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