This is me, wrestling with the Angel of the Lord. Well, in a manner of speaking. This was, I think, the third attempt at a painting today? I have a rule, remember, that the painting must be completed in under an hour. That does not mean that I limit myself to one attempt. It just means that the painting must be completed in under an hour. Today, it was a struggle. This was the final piece and part of me wants to say, look, I have a few minutes left on the clock, why don’t we go for another attempt…?
The Executive Committee rejected that request. As dissatisfied as I feel with today’s offering, it will remain today’s offering.
Today I began what I hope will be my final year as an undergraduate. As the semester continues, I expect to become more and more consumed by my studies. I expect to be faced with open rebellion by the academically focused part of myself as I attempt to live a more balanced life. What, you want to dance and have friends and love? A real life? What is this crazy talk?
How can I find a way to live that does not mean doing violence to myself? This is a question that I have wrestled with more particularly since doing a presentation on a year of transformational education this summer. If I wish to live a less violent life in a less violent world, it requires that I learn to be less violent towards myself. This is off the edge of my map…
Does everybody wrestle with the creative process or is it just me?
(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)