It occurred to me yet again, as I found myself in the midst of my first contra dance weekend, that I do not do moderation well. “Pacing” is a concept that I am only barely intellectually familiar with. To me, it seems to mean “On” or “Off”. I keep getting reminders that this is not a sustainable way to live.
On Saturday afternoon, after pulling the dance version of an all-nighter, I walked down with a friend to the banks of Lake Monroe (near Bloomington, Indiana) for a break. I was too tired for a waltz workshop and I knew that, if I stayed within earshot of the music, I would try to dance. I thought I was exhausted. I had no idea. Exhaustion came later and, while I have to say that I enjoyed the band I got up in the wee small hours of Sunday to hear and while I learned a lot about myself and a significant relationship in my life, I realize that I have to find a different, less “violent” way to learn and live.
I came out of the weekend in full introvert mode not wanting anything to do with people or much of life in general. I am still reeling (and this is not a musical reference).
My version of pacing is going to kill me if it’s not moderated.
(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)