Most days I feel torn between trying to somehow accomplish all the things I think I “should” be doing and all the things I “want” to do for me. To be fair, some of what falls onto the “should” be doing list are things I want to do, such as school. But it’s hard to just sit and breathe and relax (you have no idea…) without feeling as though I am somehow slacking. The time I set aside to paint each day seems like moments stolen from the productivity fund of survival. Sometimes these paintings happen in five minutes, sometimes they take most of the hour I allow for the practice. Often I paint a bit and go off to do something while the wash dries. The moments aren’t often condensed into a block but almost furtively snatched.
I need a couple of months, at least, somewhere off my grid, without a whole lot more thinking involved beyond which path should I walk today. And I am just not seeing that happening. As the seasons come towards a change I feel I need to find a way to re-balance my load as well.
(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)