On this day one year ago, I almost drowned on a canoe trip with someone I should never have been on a canoe trip with. I am having a terrible time this morning with flashbacks. It feels as if I am walking in two worlds, the “real” one of now and the other one of a year ago. I feel like I am being pulled under and held there. I find myself struggling against that pull but, in the midst of it all, I also find myself questioning my own significance. So what if I had died that day, really? How significant is one person in the grand scheme of things? Life would have gone on, the sun would have continued to rise and set (so to speak), and the waters would, quite literally, just have closed over my life. The world would have just gone on.
All I want to do is curl up on my bed and cry and give myself over to the flashbacks.
(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)