365, Day 130: Anniversaries & the Grand Scheme of Things

365, Day 130

On this day one year ago, I almost drowned on a canoe trip with someone I should never have been on a canoe trip with. I am having a terrible time this morning with flashbacks. It feels as if I am walking in two worlds, the “real” one of  now and the other one of a year ago. I feel like I am being pulled under and held there. I find myself struggling against that pull but, in the midst of it all, I also find myself questioning my own significance. So what if I had died that day, really? How significant is one person in the grand scheme of things? Life would have gone on, the sun would have continued to rise and set (so to speak),  and the waters would, quite literally, just have closed over my life. The world would have just gone on.

All I want to do is curl up on my bed and cry and give myself over to the flashbacks.

(© Karen Opp. All rights reserved.)

About Karen

I am a fifty-something anthropology student, an artist, dancer, photographer, healer, mother, grandmother and perennial seeker. I am distracted by shiny things and infused with a sense of wonder at the world around me and people in general. I am a “journey” person who often wishes that I could have a “destination” day at least every now and then…
This entry was posted in Anniversaries, Doubt, Grace and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 365, Day 130: Anniversaries & the Grand Scheme of Things

  1. Virginia Benson says:

    I would miss you!!

    Like

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